Even Broken Things Can be Loved
by CandyInMadness
Summary: A/U Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson. Both boys have had a horrible past. They meet after Kurts dad hospitalizes him for his cutting and Blaine is admitted due to his last suicide attempt. Deals with cutting suicide eating disorders.
1. Chapter 1

_I HAVE TO GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE._

It had been seven days. Seven days since his father had took him there. Saying he couldn't help him anymore that he was done watching his son slowly killing himself. Kurt had begged his father not to leave him there. He had been cutting himself since he was 11. He no longer saw it as a problem. More as a coping skill. Being gay in Lima , Ohio wasn't easy. He couldn't walk outside without being reminded what a freak he was. At first in middle school he thought that it would get better in high school but it only got worse. People got worse. Some avoided him like he was a fucken zombie who could infect them. Like being gay was air born.

Kurt got so afraid of going out there that he stopped going out there. He had a friend once. Lucy Fabray she was a christian however she was also in the closet. That was why they were friends. She knew what it felt like to like someone and know you can never call them yours. Since they were young she had a crush on this girl Rachel Berry. When Kurt met Lucy she was chubby had glasses, braces and walked with her head down. But before freshman year she lost a lot of weight ,got contacts and started using her middle name Quinn. She became head cheerleader. Started dated the quarterback Finn Hudson. Became a cliche blond bombshell. When Kurt tried to talk to her she told him that she a good reputation to maintain and couldn't be caught talking to the fucken faggot kid at school. She said she moved on from being a loser and that if he stopped being such a fag he could too. He never tried to talk to her again.

Needless to say high school was worse than what he thought it would have been. He only made it through the day with the knowledge that he would get home lie to his dad about how his day went go upstairs where the shinny blades he kept in a box inside his closet would be waiting. He would get his things ready to shower pick out a blade based on how bad his day had been lock the bathroom door and begin to cry. He wouldn't cry everyday. But when he did he turned his music on loud so his dad wouldn't hear. When he's done crying he strips naked and gets into the shower. He brings the blade with him. He brings the blade across his chest sometimes his legs but never his wrist that would be too noticeable. He wouldn't want to explain that to his dad. Then he'd step out of the shower dry himself off clean up the blood and put on a happy face for his dad. He would lie all day to his dad that he was fine. That he would be okay. Even though he knew he wouldn't be.

That routine went on for years. He was 16 now. Junior in high school. He maintained his 4.0 only problem at school he had was having to change in the nurses office. The other boys wouldn't change around him and they wouldn't let him change with the other girls. No matter what he was doing he felt like a freak.

"Kurt snap out of it." A very angry Mr. Smith was looking at him for spacing out again.

" Sorry Dr. Smith."

Mr. Smith was staff at the hospital. He had been working there for 5 years. He had a very welcoming face and was often very nice to Kurt. Kurt couldn't help it though he didn't wanna be there. He didn't think he need to be he didn't have a problem. Cutting to him was just a way of coping it wasn't something he needed to do rather something he chose to do. He could stop whenever he wanted to. He just didn't want to.

But his dad was fed up with Kurt's constant mood swings. His dad had told him how much he loved him and how much it hurt to see him hurt himself.

" Kurt this will be a good thing you're gonna get help. You're gonna be around teenagers your age with the same kind of problems and it's not for that long." Burt calmly tried to explain to his son all the positive things about being hospitalized.

"MY KIND OF PROBLEMS?" " PLEASE EXPLAIN WHAT KIND OF PROBLEMS I HAVE." Kurt was screaming at his dad looking back he could see he was being completely unreasonable.

Kurt and his father fought for awhile until his father finally decided that weather or not Kurt liked it he was going.

So here he was. A week into his hospitalization. He refused to talk to anyone and refused any help. He was yet to talk in groups or to any therapist one on one. Kurt didn't think it was natural to talk to someone about your problems he had never been that type of person he preferred to deal with things on his own. It was getting to the point where doctors were considering just letting him go. You can't help someone who doesn't accept it.

As entered the room with he already knew what they would say. That didn't mean he wasn't going to try.

"So what you're saying is ya cant help my boy why the hell not?!" A very pissed off Burt Hunmel spat trying his hardest not to rause his voice.

Mr. Smith began to speak to in the same tone he used with the patients who had anger issues "You see we believe there is nothing else we can do for Kurt beside maintain his safety. He refused treatment, is uncooperative with all members of our safe , we cant even get him to pay attention during group."

"So what? I take him home and wait for my kid to off himself?" Burt looked down at the floor. He failed his son, he was his father and he couldn't even make him happy anymore.

"Insures will still cover another full 7 days. I suggest we keep him here even with no progress its better to know he's safe." Doctor Smith couldnt help but feel somehow responsible for not being able to help Kurt. He had tried everything he could think to get through to Kurt. Doctor Smith was running out of ideas.

After left his office to the main lobby for visiting hours Nurse Nacy knocked on his office door.

"Doctor Smith we have a new patient... but this one is... he's really bad." Nacy flinched as she thought back to the brief moments she had seen the cuts.

"What on Earth does that mean Nacy all the patients who come here are 'bad'. The look on Nacys face made him uneasy.

"Sebastian let me be blunt. This boy has cuts that are glued together a couple of then stitched they aren't even cuts more like pieces of his skin missing. Its horrible. Most of them are bandaged up but the ones i saw... it's no wonder he's wearing a long sleeve. Where do you want to put him?" Nacy couldnt afford to keep thinking about that poor boy. He reminded her too much of her fourteen year old son.

thought very carefully. Some of the other patients couldn't deal with blood others couldnt deal with a roommate...

After thinking through all the possibilities he finally spoke.

"Room him with Kurt."

"Sorry Sir i dont think i heard you correctly" Nacy was dumbfounded put the only two gay boys in a room together?

"You heard me. Room the new boy with Kurt. I know what youre thinking and I hold no interest in hearing your opinion. Now what is the new patients name?"

Knowing when not to push an argument with Sebastian Smith she cleared her throat and spoke in her professional tone, "Blaine Anderson"


	2. Chapter 2

"Hello Blaine my name is or whichever you prefer." The older man stood there waiting for the boy to say something.

Blaine realized that the doctor was waiting for him to say something so he just replied "Cool."

"You wanna talk about why you're here?"

"Oh come on doc look at my arms you aren't stupid." could tell that Blaine had a bit of a attitude.

"Yes I know what this piece of paper says. It say you tried to kill yourself. However I know that when people cut they don't always want to die. I don't like to make assumptions based on what a piece of paper says. I give everyone who comes here a chance to explain themselves." He paused, "Would you like to tell me why you're here?"

Blaine looked at the man for a few seconds. He didn't like to tell people his story. Yet it was rare for anyone to give him a chance to explain the cutting.

"Fine, it's not like I have anything else to do. First let's clarify something I didn't want to die. I know the cuts are deep and it seems like I wanted to die but I didn't. I just really fucken hate myself. Every part of me..."

Blaine wasn't sure how much he wanted to share with this stranger but he had already begun he already opened the gate he might as well let the flood come.

" I'm gay. So naturally I get the beat up and degraded at school for it and since I'm not actually out to my parents they don't understand why I can't just fit in so we aren't as close as we should be because they always want me to be more like my brother Cooper because HE was popular and cool in high school and HE always had girls chasing after HIM and because HE'S picture fucken perfect as to what they want in a son and I don't meet those expectations. So even if they give me all the materialistic things I need I always feel alone in that house and I'm filled with so much fucken self hate for not being good enough that yeah I turn to cutting and I know all the bullshit about how it gets better later on but right now it fucken sucks and I don't know if I'm suicidal but if a car were coming towards me I'm not sure I'd jump out of the way. No body has any idea what it feels like to be above ground and feel like your drowing like there's no air. I wake up and I hate I hate what I see in the mirror, I just want to get it right for once in my life. I just want to be GOOD ENOUGH" Blaine paused to take a long breathe in. That felt good. He hadn't actually spoken more than few words to anyone in a long time. Mostly he just sang to himself.

Dr. Smith looked at Blaine with sad eyes, he reminded him so much of himself when he was a teen.

"Name five things you love" tried to avoid eye contact with the boy.

"Ummm" Blaine paused he was a bit confused he just let out his life story and they were just moving from subject?

"Music , birds, My Chemical Romance , band bracelets, coffee."

looked at the boy again, "Okay name five more."

"Errr ummm. . . My family, the internet, tumblr, The Dark Knight Trilogy, comic books."

was writting down his answers on a piece of paper. Blaine didn't mind but he was a bit confused as to why.

"Five more Blaine."

"Okay ummm American Horror Story, Fall Out Boy, guitars, Davey Wavey, bowties, and books."

looked up at the boy, "Blaine how long do you think you could have kept naming things you love before you said yourself?"

Blaine sat there with a blank expression thinking that no he didn't in fact love himself.

"Forever. Haha. Look at me, who the hell would love me? I don't even like myself. I'm weak and disgusting and FUCKEN PATHETIC!" by the end of his small rant he was practically screaming. He hated talking about himself.

"I disagree. I see a young gentleman who simply hasn't found all the wonderful things about himself." smiled at the young teen who looked as though he might cry.

"How long am I here for?" Blaine questioned.

"Well as short as three days as long as three months. We cater to both short term needs and long term needs. Depends on how you participate, your willingness to accept treatment, and your parents."

Blaine laughed a loud at the man.

"Good luck getting me outta here my parents are never gonna want me back home."

looked down in confusion. Had they met the right set of parents?

"I seem to have gotten a different impression, your mother was in tears begging for you. All she seemed concerned about was you being okay , and your father kept asking to see you. I recall seeing him cry by your bedside."

"What?" Blaine clearly believed they must have met different people.

"Blaine maybe they might not have been the greatest of parents before but I think that won't be a problem anymore."

Blaine started to cry. His parents never cared before but now they might. He had to come near death for them to care. Blaine wasn't all to sure he could handle it. Or forgive them for everything.

"Blaine I would like to introduce you to someone." didn't know if this would work but he sure hoped it would.

"Who?" Blaine stopped crying.

"Kurt Hummel. He is by far one of the bravest yet weakest people I've ever had the pleasure of knowing." paused , "Would that be okay?"

"Yeah okay maybe it might be good to meet people... I want to get better you know. I come off as an asshole but I'm really not. I don't wanna be all messed up like this... I know it seems like a sudden change in attitude but I want to be happy, I'll work on it. Thank you. I've never told anyone all of that. And ... it feels good to let go of control."

"No need to thank me. Come with me" opened the door for them to step out.

As Blaine and walked the long hallway began to think.

'This is the best idea I've ever had. These kids will be okay. I'll give them what I wish I had when I was their age. Support. They'll hate me at first but I never want to see those cuts on them again. Kurt is going to murder me. But I know his story I know Blaine's and I know mine. Maybe I can't fix them but I can sure as hell give them the glue to fix themselves.'

As they rounded the corridor they stopped right outside Kurt Hummel's room.

"Blaine Anderson this is Kurt Hummel."


	3. Chapter 3

_ knocked at the door. He knew how much Kurt appreciates when people let him know before they enter._

_"Excuse me Mr. Hummel are you occupied at the moment?" _

_" ? I'm in the restroom give me a minute." _

_The bathroom door didn't lock but at least they had doors._

_As Kurt walked out of the bathroom he immediately noticed the presence of someone else. _

_"Kurt this Blaine Anderson. He's new here and he'll be your new roomate." didn't want to see Kurt's face. He was positive it would be one of anger._

_Kurt stood there speechless. The other boy was looking around the room but Kurt could see how handsome he is._

_Quickly gathering his thoughts he pushed aside the funny feeling in his stomach and extended his hand, "Hello my name is Kurt Elizabeth Hummel I suppose you'd be the new occupant of this room with me."_

_Blaine could only stand there fabergast staring at the taller boy who had his hand extended. He was perfection in it's finest form. Kurt was wearing a big oversized green sweater with black jeans and converse with no shoelaces. He looked stunning, The way he held himself with so much pride, the way he pronounced his full name but most of all his beautiful face. Blaine didn't want say beautiful because Kurt is clearly a boy but that would be the only word to describe him._

_"Hi I'm Blaine and yeah I guess I'm your new roommate"_

_"Well I'm sorry." Kurt looked down._

_"Um what?" Blaine thought maybe Kurt had spoken while Blaine was lost in his eyes._

_"Sorry to be making your acquaintance here." Kurt said._

_ spoke before Blaine could._

_"Kurt I'd consider it cooperation if you would show Blaine around help him unpack and show him the routine." _

_Kurt stood there for a minute._

_"But I'm supposed to be discharged in tomorrow morning remember lack of cooperation?" Kurt smirked. He found it rather entertaining the way the doctors there thought they could 'fix' him._

_"Oh no I spoke with your father. We'll let you go when I think your ready." returned Kurt's smirk. He knew how Kurt thought this is one big game and Kurt thought he was winning. said nothing more and walked out of the room._

_An awkward silence hung in the air._

_"Ok um well. . .First thing first that bed by the the wall is yours. The little shelf by the window is for you to put anything you have with you. On the bed are the clean sheets,clean pillow case, shampoo,soap, lotion, toothbrush, and towels. They give out new ones of all of that everyday anyways. We get up at 7 for breakfast then you wait for your turn to shower. They go room by room so we'll usually shower around eight. Showers end at nine. At nine we get called for first group which you can deny to go to but I would say just go even if you don't talk. After that they give us a break in the common room until ten thirty. Then we do activities outside which counts as second group. Then we do lunch at twelve thirty. At one thirty the phones open and everyone who's not using the phone can go watch movies in the common room until three when we do third group which usually involves music at four thirty everyone does 'reflection time' in their rooms until dinner. Reflection time really does just mean stay in your room for an hour and a half. At five thirty we eat dinner that last until six thrity and then we do shower time again until eight. Watch another movie or play guitar hero and then bed at ten. You got that?" _

_Kurt hoped that Blaine understood all of that because he wouldn't be repeating it._

_"Yeah I got it." Blaine had understood what Kurt said but he had trouble keeping focus. He couldn't help but notice Kurt had bandages around his wrist and his upper arms. _

_"Oh and we do visits on weekends. Morning visits are from 10Am to 12Pm then afternoon visits are 5Pm to 7Pm but parents can come to both visits if they want. My dad usually does."_

_"Oh. Cool. Thanks." Blaine wasn't sure if his parents would come see him here._

_"Um Blaine?"_

_Blaine lookes up to see Kurt looking at him with a sad almost pitiful expression. Yet somehow Kurt still managed to look breathtaking._

_Clearing his throat he answered the blue eyed boy. _

_"Yeah?"_

_"I'm gonna take you to go meet Nurse Emma."_

_"Uhh okay but why?"_

_"Your bleeding through your bandages." Kurt said quietly._

_Blaine looked down to see that he was indeed bleeding though the bandages. That's when it all came crashing down for him. He was meeting the guy of his dreams in a MENTAL HOSPITAL. He was bleeding through bandages. _

_Kurt would never want to be with someone so messed up. Kurt probably isn't even gay. Even if he were why would I stand a chance with someone like that? Look at him. Look at me. I should just accept it now and hope that maybe I make a new friend._

_"Ummm Blaine? Are you okay should I get someone?"_

_Blaine stopped thinking to himself to answer Kurt._

_"I'm good. Just need new um bandages I guess." Blaine awkwardly looked at the floor not knowing what to say, it was hard enough to think around Kurt without the embarrassment of bleeding all over the place._

_Kurt spoke so softly Blaine strained to hear him. _

_"I'm sorry. . . Follow me."_

_Why does he keep apologizing to me? Why's he here? Suicide? God damn look at his ass. Fuck. No focus I think he's saying something._

_"-and that's why Im here."_

_FUCK BLAINE YOU DIDN'T LISTEN TO HIM. FUCK._

_"Oh um what wait-" Blaine couldn't believe he had spaced out while this angel spoke._

_"Joking Blaine." Kurt smiled down at him " I noticed you spacing out" _

_"Oh. Sorry." Blaine looked down._

_As they entered a small white room Kurt spoke._

_"Good morning Nurse Emma this is Blaine Anderson asked me to show him around and he needs new bandages."_

_Nurse Emma turned to face them. Noticing the boy bleeding she quickly got up and grabbed some new clean bandages._

_"Hello Blaine I'm Nurse Emma or Nurse Em or That-Weird-Nurse-With-The-OCD. You'll hear a lot of names for me. Here give me your arms." Emma smiled at the boy._

_Blaine did as instructed quickly thanking her when she finished. She reminded him of his aunt Lucy._

_"Well Nurse Em it was nice to see you but we gotta get to group."_

_They waved goodbye and walked out into the hallway._

_"Right now it's group time, well it is in about fifteen minutes but I want to get there a little early so you can meet the other people." Kurt said._

_Blaine wasn't all that interested in meeting or talking to anyone that wasn't Kurt but he didn't want to be rude so he simply nodded his head and follow Kurt around the corner._

_Kurt stopped right outside another white room. From inside the sounds and shouts from teenagers could be heard._

_Kurt spoke quietly so only Blaine could hear. _

_"Listen you'll go in people will ask your name who's your roommate and why your here. If you don't want to answer them you dont have to. Just know that no one in there is going to judge. I'll be right by you. Everyone likes to smile and laugh now because things get intensive in group. Are you okay?" Kurt looked down at the boy with a smile._

_Blaime smiled back, he could do this as long as Kurt stayed._

_"Yeah okay. Just don't leave me please." Blaine looked down._

_Kurt put one finger in Bliane's chin and lifted his head up. _

_"I won't."_

_Blaine almost squealed like a girl. He had never gotten this feeling around anyone._

_"Come on Blaine time to meet everyone."_

_Kurt opened the door for Blaine and walked silently behind him._

_As Kurt walked in some people greeted him. Especially Noah Puckerman who had been basically undressing Kurt with his eyes the whole time he had been there._

_Kurt rarley spoke to anyone but this time he made his voice loud and clear._

_"Hey guys this is Blaine."_


End file.
